Give me the simple life

I have a “Fought with Comcast All Day Saturday/Super Bowl Sunday” hangover today.  I barely even drank, but I’m pretty sure my body is punishing me for the metric TON of crap I ate yesterday, between the Super Bowl and my friend’s Partylite party.  Which I actually had a lot of fun at, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

Saturday was the WORST day I’ve had in a long time.  Like…a really long time.  It was terrible.  I got up at 9 AM and immediately began tangling with Comcast.  And it did not go well.  Two errands out and one new router later, at 5:19 PM, I finally got online.  And let me tell you…it’s almost worth the hassle.  I forgot how awesome unlimited internet is, and I am so happy.  Also, I have access to Netflix again.  YES.

Finances are…well, they are.  Because of the screw-up with D’s car payments, the loan company automatically deducted $300 from my bank account, instead of his, which didn’t put me in a hole (thank God) but I was pretty upset when I discovered that.  He paid me back $150 this Saturday (because I was on the verge of an intense meltdown when I saw him) and agreed to help me pay out of the Verizon upgrade we did last year when we were just merely separating and didn’t want to add another bill for me to have internet.  Unfortunately, I realized this past month that there is no way I can download scholastic articles for my thesis research on the limited data plan that we had, so that’s out.  Anyway.  That’s how we handled it, and it’s all but done now.

Yesterday I went to my first Partylite party, at Jess’s house.  Because it was Super Bowl Sunday, she themed the party “superhero” — everyone was supposed to come as a superhero or their “alter-ego”.  And of course, even though my beloved Pats weren’t in the Super Bowl, I wore allllll of my Pats gear one last time this season, down to my red, blue, and silver-tipped nails (and toenails, though nobody saw them).  My superhero identity was “Lady Denial.”

See the little #12 in my stripes?  Oh, Tom Brady.  Thanks for the stripes, Drea!

Anyway.  The party was fun, especially for my first one.  I usually hate parties like that (I’ve gone to Tupperware and Pampered Chef and was bored at both), but I actually like Partylite.  I got a bird-shaped tealight holder, a pillar candle, and some tealights.  I didn’t spend much because my sister is having her own party in about two weeks, so I’ll pick up some more there.  Plus, hello, budgeting.

The only bad part about the party was that the consultant overheard that I was getting divorced, and started asking a whole slew of personal questions.  Not cool.  Drea sat next to me and gave me a neck rub while Tina answered for me in short, one-word answers, trying to get her to drop the subject, which she finally did.  But again, that was only about five minutes of awkwardness and at least she didn’t bring it up later.

D is going to talk to his mom this weekend in person and tell her that we’re getting a divorce.  I’m not looking forward to it…well, I am but I’m not.  I love my MIL and it makes me cry to think that she’s not going to be “mine” anymore.  But it will be a relief to have the lid blown off this whole thing.  Plus I want to meet up with her — I told D that I wanted to give her the diamond from my ring back (it’s a family stone) and I want to make sure she knows the truth about all of this.  That it’s not because I gave up, or because I didn’t want it to work.  She needs to know about the other woman, too.  And she may hate me for it, and she may not believe me…but there’s a lot of circumstantial evidence that points to the truth, and least two of D’s other family members know what happened.  I think she will hear me out.

I haven’t seen Crazy Bruce in two weeks because he hurt his hip last week 😦  I miss him a lot.

I also have nada on the docket for this evening except getting home early and getting a good, long night’s sleep.  And eating healthier today than the last few days.  I had way too much crap yesterday and I’m pretty sure that’s why I feel like complete ass this morning.  A long bath, a good healthy meal, and more chapters of The Behemoth sound like an excellent way to spend Monday night. 🙂

I have an unfamiliar feeling in my stomach for the first time in months…I think it’s hope.  And I’m scared, so scared to hope for something good to happen…especially something this good.  So I try not to think about it, because I don’t want to get hurt, I really don’t.  But sometimes, that little butterfly of hope is all that keeps you going.  Sometimes I feel lately that’s all it is.  Just a tiny little butterfly…flitting through my life.

All I want to do is hope again.

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