Little Victories — Week Three

For 2013, I’m going to have a Friday post every single week, for positive victories in my life.  They may not be big things, but they will be things that I am proud of, things I did in the past seven days.  I’m hoping this will keep me focused on the positive, all the good things that are going on in my life.

Week Three:

– The Patriots won the AFC Divisional Title on Sunday, which was a nailbiting, scary-as-hell, total blast to watch.  I don’t know if this is a victory for me, per se, but it made me happy so I count it.

– Started the semester with a bang; I love my class and I love the teacher and I am just full-on enjoying myself.

– Got within 30% of finishing World Without End, and with any luck, I’ll complete it this weekend so I can get down to required reading for the semester.

– Decided “the hell with it” and spent about half of my Christmas money and a $50 GC on a Kindle Fire.  This I totally blame all of you for; nobody threw up any roadblocks to my post about it and so I figured, there are no real cons worth worrying about!  And just did it.

– Made a real attempt to eat and cook healthier by shopping organic at Trader Joe’s and making myself some healthier meals, like quinoa and sauteed chicken.

– Had a wonderful Knit Night at my friend Drea’s last night, where I put to rest a lot of my anxiety that my friend(s) were annoyed or fed up with me (anxiety disorder is a constant battle against common sense, I know).

Items added to my 2013 jar: 1.

Let’s hear it for the weekend!

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Let’s Go, New England!

I watched the Broncos fall to the Ravens last night.  Woke up at 1 AM to find that Green Bay fell to the Forty-Niners.

One team left, and it’s my favorite.  It’s my team.

Got my Pats shirt on:

 

 

My toenails are painted (OPI Russian Navy, Sally Hansen Wine Not?, and Essie Beyond Cozy):

 

toenails

 

All of the other teams that I would have cheered for are gone.  Broncos and Green Bay were my “backup” teams.  Now they’re gone.  It’s all or nothing.

So I’m off to watch the playoffs.

GO NEW ENGLAND!

To sweet beginnings, and bitter endings

My husband told my MIL last night that we were separating.  This has been, thus far, the hardest part about all of this.  I love my MIL like she’s my own mom.  I’ve loved her since I met my husband back in 2008.  He wanted to be the one to tell her alone, which was probably a good thing, because I couldn’t trust myself to be there without crying.  But it went “as well as it could have” in David’s words, and having it done with was…a relief.  I’ve been dreading this since we first talked about separating…in April.

This morning MIL and I talked for a little while and we both cried, which was agony.  But she wants me to still be around and she treats me as part of the family still.  Which is…great.  It really is.  I was terrified that when David told her, she would feel too awkward seeing me, and wouldn’t want me around.  But that’s not what happened at all.  I’m still welcome here whenever David and I want to come up.  Which is a relief.  I don’t know what’s going to happen in the next few months/years, but…it’s nice to know that I am neither blamed, nor hated, for what passed between us.

I have to confess that when David told me that it was over and he had told his mom, I had a complete and utter anxiety attack.  I cried so hard that all of my makeup ran off.  I think he was a little bewildered because, really, it could not have gone better.  But the fact that it was OVER, that he had finally told her and I could stop worrying that everyone would cut me out of their lives and hate me…was the biggest relief I’d ever experienced.  At least in recent memory.  Oh my God, such a relief.  And I just couldn’t hold it in.  It was like the biggest weight of my life was off of my shoulders.

The rest of this weekend has gone pretty well.  We went to my cousin-in-law Amy’s birthday/Halloween party last night, which was a lot of fun.  And I met my BIL Bryan’s new GF, Allison, last night.  She’s very sweet and I like her very much.

No real plans for today, except for watching the Patriots/Jets game at 4:30 PM (I am a die-hard Patriots fan, as are all of my IL’s), and then heading back to CT tonight.  Tomorrow, the paper odyssey continues.  Wish me luck.