Little Victories, Week 32

I haven’t done one of these since I got divorced.  And guys, there were barely any victories this week.  Because all of my being has been centered on not completely melting into a mess.

My parents went on vacation this past Monday.  My sister broke her leg two weeks ago.  That meant…that I’ve been staying at their house since Monday.  I haven’t been to my apartment.  I haven’t seen my kitties.  I’ve barely had any time or space to call my own.  I miss my bed.  I miss my cats.  I miss my free time.

But I’m getting it all back tomorrow.  So that’s something.

In the past week, I basically was fetch-and-carry for my younger sister.  I fed cats.  I cleaned litterboxes (and for eight cats, that’s no small task).  I fed the birds.  I watered the plant.  I emptied the dehumidifiers.  I cleaned up vomit.  I took Scout (one of my parents’ many cats) to the vet for her surgery, and I’ve been giving her pills (4 a day) ever since — and you can imagine how well that goes over.  The term “like a lead balloon” comes to mind.

I am very, very glad to relinquish all of those roles and jobs when my parents come home from the Cape tomorrow.

Other than that, the only real “little victory” that I had is: Learned to sew.  Which I went over in this entry.  Progress picture there.  I haven’t done anything since then.  Be impressed.

 

Most of this week has gone by in a gigantic blur.  I can’t remember most of what I did, besides cooking and chores.  And trying to sleep.  And failing to sleep.

Next week, guys.  Next week is Wildfire and hopefully I’ll get a little of myself back.

 

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Little Victories, Week 28

We are more than halfway through the year.  Hard to believe, guys!

It’s also hard to believe that I am still writing these “Little Victories” entries even though I skip them all the time.  Huh.

You know the drill.

– Got divorced.  That is, seriously, the biggest victory this year (I think).  I didn’t break down (in public), I didn’t lose my shit, and when it was over, I felt the weight of the world fall from my shoulders.  There is literally nothing left to do, except for file for an annulment in the Catholic Church.  But that’s such a little hump that I’m not worried about it, at least not yet.  Don’t borrow trouble and all that.

Went to NYC and didn’t have a freakout on the train.  Anxiety disorder + public transportation + agoraphobia = usually doesn’t end well.  But I went with the fabulous Miss Nicki to New York City on Tuesday evening and had zero issues whatsoever.  It was an amazing night.  I only wish that Nicki and I hadn’t had to work in the morning so we could have stayed later than 9:30 PM.

 

Rescued a baby kitten.  It was stuck in the oil trap of a car that was driving through the neighborhood where I work.  Kitty is a female, about four weeks old, and is currently being fostered by Nicki and her husband until a forever home can be found for her.  She’s intensely cute and very curious.  I’m hoping she finds a good forever home soon!

 

This weekend, I’m headed off to Massachusetts to stay with Amy and Doug, and see a whole bunch of people.  We were planning on hitting the beach tomorrow but rain might get in the way of our plans.  Not worried in the slightest, I’m excited!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Yarn Along! – February 13, 2013

Happy Ash Wednesday!  I guess it seems sort of odd to wish someone a “happy” Ash Wednesday, since Lent on a whole isn’t a very cheerful season of anticipation, the way Advent is.  And it seems like we JUST finished Christmas a few weeks ago.  I am really hoping, after the disaster which was Easter 2011 (D acted like a jerk all weekend) and Easter 2012 (D told me he wanted to separate), that Easter 2013 is a resounding success and a reminder of just why I used to love the holiday so much.

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I am working on a Honey Cowl on US 8’s with a skein of Noro Chirimen that my friend Drea bought for me last year at a closeout sale for $5 a skein (I know, Noro for $5!  It’s unheard of!).  It’s a very soft blend of cotton, silk, and wool — not very stretchy but still nice and soft.

As for what I am reading?  Well, of course, The Behemoth, but at over 1,000 pages (including notes and bibliography) it’s not exactly something I take with me to work, so I leave it at home.  On my Kindle, I am reading Why You Think The Way You Do: The Story of Western Worldviews from Rome to Home by Dr. Glenn Sunshine, who just happens to be one of my professors.  Dr. S. is big into the whys and wherefores of worldview, and the book is (thus far) very good.  I’m only into like…chapter five, I think?  But I am enjoying it.

Random bonus picture of me with Tabby, my little kitty:

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She was not thrilled to be part of the picture.

Hooking up with Ginny over at Small Things

Losing Ollie

I have a feeling this is one of those entries that I’m not going to want to reread in a few months.

D’s cat, Ollie, took years to warm up to me.  We moved in together, he didn’t like me.  Then, he tolerated me.  And then, he loved me.  We snuggled.  He cried when I wasn’t home.  When D would go to work he’d jump up on the bed and we’d have “Bear Snuggle Time” (I was the one who nicknamed him “Bear”, because he weighed 24 lbs.), and everything was…perfect.

Then I moved out.

And now Ollie won’t look at me.

 

I never thought that would be this hard.  I never thought that only three weeks would undo three years of work.  It’s as if it all never happened.  Ollie sees right through me, he doesn’t want to be touched, he doesn’t want me to pet him, he doesn’t snuggle, doesn’t want his belly rubbed.

After a year of detached attention from my husband, who has made his disdain for my affection known, somehow, it hurts like fresh pain all over again, to have the same response from Ollie.  And yeah, I’ve always been really emotional about my pets.  I physically hurt when something goes wrong with them, when they’re hurting or sick, when they die.  And yes, this is hurting.  A lot.

I’ll get over it.  I know I will  But still, it sucks.

I can’t wait until I’m completely over all of this crap and it loses its ability to hurt me anymore.