Send help

Guys.  Send help.  Seriously, I feel like I’m drowning in my own mediocrity this week.

Plan was to go to the gym on Wednesday and Friday.  Wednesday did not happen.  Friday is still up in the air.

I haven’t gotten more than about four hours of sleep a night.  None of that is uninterrupted.  I sleep like garbage.  I tried to remedy that by using Law and Order SVU to sleep by (surprisingly, this usually works).  It’s not working right now.

Due to to the financial burdens of separating, my bank account is…sad.  We’ll say sad.  Savings is good, checking blows, D’s car payments this month came out of my bank account instead of his, and though I AM going to get that money back, you can’t get blood from a stone, as they say, and D now owes me $300 for this month.  Super.

Oh, grad school?  BAHAHAHAHAHA.  I am about halfway finished with The Behemoth.  As for reading for my other class…not even close.  I emailed the two Civil War historians on campus, per my thesis adviser’s orders…and they haven’t responded.  Thanks, guys.

I vacillate between “I am okay with getting divorced, this is going to be a new start”, terror about the idea of dating, feeling sick over the idea of divorce, and freaking out because this was not supposed to happen.

Hopefully I’ll be feeling better tomorrow.

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2 thoughts on “Send help

  1. You probably will feel better tomorrow, but if you don’t, be ok with that, too :). Increasing your tolerance and ability to sit with (but not swallowed in) not being ok, the swing from one side to the other won’t feel so much like whiplash. Top priorities: exercise and sleep. Definitely channel any extra energy you have into getting yourself to the gym (or even a long walk would be great); endorphins and sense of accomplishment you’ll have after can help propel you through the rest of the day, and tiring out your body will help you sleep.

    Thank you for sharing. Help is here.

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