Today I am feeling fragile. This is not a completely alien emotion, but it certainly is an unwelcome one. It’s one of those days where, as Crazy Bruce, my therapist, says, “the goal is just to make it to bedtime in one piece.” That is how I feel. No going above and beyond today, just get through the work day, and everything else will fall into place.
Some of that has to do with the emotions swirling in my head from my last entry. And some of that has to do with just these feelings of convolution and being lost that I’ve been experiencing since Sunday evening. Certainties aren’t so certain anymore. I don’t know which way is up.
When I get in these sort of moods, I always go back to my default: simple knitting.
My friend Drea gave me two balls of Noro Silk Garden for Christmas this year, and I’m using it to make a simple hat. I’ve never knit with Silk Garden before (just Silk Garden Sock, which, ironically, I made into a pair of socks for Drea this past year). I’m knitting it in a simple 1×1 rib, that will eventually give way to stockinette when the brim is done. It’s about all I feel capable of right now.
Tonight I have my great-aunt’s wake, and then I plan on going home and putting on pj’s, watching SVU, and knitting.
At least my makeup looks good today (I think so). I sort of half-heartedly tried a semi-smokey eye. Not perfect, but…I’m getting there.
More tomorrow, when I’m not feeling so fragile.